BABY STEPS: Your "To-Do" List Before Conception

Understanding the basics of your cycle is one of the most helpful things you can do if you have made the decision to conceive a child. However, there are several more steps that you can take to ensure that the journey to motherhood isn’t such a long one, and is in fact as healthy and enjoyable as can be!

 Let’s start by addressing your cycle once more!

So you’ve jotted down every visit from Aunt Flo for 3 months or more, and are fully aware of her patterns as well as the expected date of ovulation. We can now proceed to conceiving immediately! **Cheers roar!....followed by scratch on record player.....**

Thing is, catching that egg can be somewhat of a challenge…as the body beautiful, isn’t exactly the most predictable thing on planet earth. A woman’s egg has got its vim and vigor for 24 to 48 hours by most medical calculations. And while timing that baby-dance accordingly (see Point #3 in “Inviting the Stork…”) is the best way to go, you never know when your pattern may take a slight shift. Add these tips to your To-Do list, and your very own cuddly cherubic baby should be here much sooner!

·       Have sex every other day during your fertile period (here, a less-is-more approach may help!).  This is a much debated practice, but logic---and medicine---says this will allow your partner’s trusty Sperm soldiers to be at peak (in both quantity and quality). Encourage your partner to save all his soldiers for love-time with you….and only this time. Think about it! If he keeps deploying and deploying and deploying his soldiers…pretty soon the front line will get all tired out, and the scrawny reserves will be all that’s  left…and Lord only knows what will happen if a draft  from the dregs is needed!  Slim pickings from the scrawny dudes way at the back…who shouldn’t ever be called for duty…ever. (I digress…)

·       Learn to recognize WHEN you are ovulating.  Ladies, you know the deal on this one...but in effort to remain professional, I shall say: As reported by most women, you will begin to feel noticeably more amorous a few days prior to ovulation.  Some women even feel a slight twinge on the side of the pelvis where the corresponding ovary released an egg! It’s never really a guessing game at this point what you and your partner need to do…

(1)  Take heed of your body’s other signals such as increased mucus production below---in particular, a change in your normal secretions from watery or lotion-like to the much famed “egg white cervical mucus”.  (It really will look egg whitish, stretchy….) It is this particular change in consistency that actually facilitates conception as the environment within the vagina will become more hospitable to sperm for these few days.

***If this step doesn’t happen quite this way in your body, invest in an over the counter sperm-friendly lubricant, like *PreSeed.  At this point in your fertility journey, the trusted favorites have harmful ingredients that are lethal to sperm and will hinder your efforts at conception. ***

The herbal supplement, *Evening Primrose Oil is also indicated as having properties that improve the quality and quantity of fertile cervical mucus during ovulation.

(2)  If you like, the purchase of an over the counter *ovulation predictor kit would help even more. I suggest this step to those that have not found success by tracking their cycles alone. Even women who menstruate regularly may have slight variances in their actual ovulation date.  I discourage the use of this tool IF it happens to increase your anxiety about the entire process at all though.

(3)  If you have a relatively short cycle all together (read: 23-24 days) perhaps it would be good to invest in an herbal supplement that may help lengthen your cycle---the luteal phase of your cycle to be exact----, like a natural *Progesterone cream which supplies 450mg of USP progesterone per ounce.  The use of chasteberry supplements or tea (that offers 200-400mg a day) has also been purported to support a longer luteal phase to allow for implantation to occur.  Red Raspberry leaf (tea or supplement form) has also shown similar effects.

•   Start Taking that Prenatal Now. 

ü  It is recommended that women start ingesting 400mcg to 800mcg of Folic Acid up to 2 years before conception. Check to be sure, but it is found in most multi's for women. This vitamin will help protect baby from birth defects and it works when taken before and during pregnancy! Some have boasted that this supplement enhances the chances for conceiving twins as well...but hey, um...whatever floats their boat!

ü  If you can both handle this one (I find the pills are generally large), a good fish oil supplement will benefit both you and your partner during your journey to conception.

ü  Continue taking your multivitamins if you prefer. Discuss any changes in your diet and daily vitamin/supplement regime as these may interfere with existing prescription medications, or pre-existing health conditions.

•  Watch your weight….sort of.

Sometimes it may simply be the matter of adding or losing 5 pounds. Do note: now is not the time to start a crash diet to lose tons of weight. But taking healthy steps towards reaching and maintaining a healthy weight (read: an optimal *BMI of 20-25%) is crucial to conception. I failed to point this out in Inviting the Stork but...

Recent studies have revealed certain natural supplements that may help lower overall body fat in combination with healthier lifestyles and exercise. If this is your intent (and if this is a necessary precursor to conception for you) try looking out for:

ü  Safflower Oil supplements

ü  Calcium Pyruvate (1000mg)

ü  Chitosan

ü  Linoleic Acid Supplements (6 grams)

ü  Try Sunflower seeds! (3 tsps. of sunflower seeds per day was studied, and doctors indicated loss of visceral body fat---the tummy kind---in all cases studied.*)

Do note that the presence of a monthly period does not always indicate functional ovulation.  Some choose to track ovulation through use of a basal body thermometer and actual online charts…but I will not expound upon this method here as this idea tends to stress ME out, just typing it!  If a year or more has passed during your journey to conception ---without success, please consort with a physician for more thorough steps towards achieving your goals.

I must conclude this nugget of information by saying: this is somewhat therapeutic for me, as I too am nearing that stage of contemplation, edging forth into decision really, regarding babies! I am nervously excited about the entire ordeal (more nervous than excited on some days), and though I feel armed with a decent amount of information, nothing, absolutely nothing will beat going through the real thing for the first time…and even after that, as some of you can attest to.  I trust that there will be comfort in the knowledge that others provide, and shared bliss in knowing all those books were super-right, and in some instances, so off base! And finally, the calming support from friends and relatives will be more than welcomed…it will be celebrated, and I am really looking forward to that. I know this was a lot of info to take in. Leave questions or comments and I will gladly try to help out! And as usual...

Resources/ References/Tools:

-Ovulation Calculator:

http://www.webmd.com/baby/healthtool-ovulation-calculator

-PreSeed Lubricant: http://www.preseed.com/   or

http://www.amazon.com/Pre~Seed-PSMUK-Pre-Seed-Personal-Lubricant/dp/B004382GWK

(It is also available at CVS, Walgreens and some Target Stores.)

-Progesterone Cream: http://www.emerita.com/ or www.amazon.com

-Online Discount Vitamin Resource:  www.vitacost.com (my favorite!)

-Free BMI Calculator: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bmi-calculator/NU00597

-The Belly Fat Reduction Supplements (as featured on Dr. Oz):

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/belly-fat-blasting-supplements

**Disclaimer: NO disrespect to those in the army. Front Line, Reserves and all. You are ALL our heroes! **

 ***THANKS FOR READING***!

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INVITING THE STORK...OR NOT.

Whether you have decided that 2012 is the year you would like to conceive that beautiful bundle of joy (kudos to you!), or perhaps you have definitely decided that you absolutely must step up the birth control and carve out 4 more years of post-graduate achievements (kudos to you!), one thing is for sure: Becoming familiar with your true, and natural monthly cycle can be a great boon to you for this year…and beyond!

 While being my (sometimes) overly open self, I was frequently surprised to discover how far reaching the text book lore of the 28 Day Menstrual Cycle has become. I would go as far as saying that quite a few of my friends are still rather mystified about their monthly visitors, as they glance at the calendars each month, rather nonplussed by the dates, hardly able to recall the last time Aunt Flo rode in on her brick red broom.

See…I am calling it textbook “lore” for a reason. It (the 28 day cycle) can be, for many women…a bit of a nebulous fairytale, never having happened in their life! Greater still, are the group that aren’t even sure how long their cycles really are, and many even wonder if they are “normal”.

It’s not such a bad thing, not really…as your normal, is not necessarily that of the “majority”.

 Keeping the idea of YOUR “normalcy” in mind, how long should your cycle really be?

 See, the best guideline, as outlined and observed by most medical publications---and rightly so, is 28 days. (READ: With a month or two, already on a chart---or accurately in your mind, and counting from the first day of your last period, to the day before your NEXT expected period, is generally on average 28 days.)

A menstrual cycle that is on average, 28 days, allows for optimum hormonal ebbs and flows. The cycle is predictable, and effective luteal phases (the period of time that spans from the day after a woman ovulates through the start of the next menses----usually 14 days), are best observed, thus facilitating conception. That being said, conception itself is dependent upon many others factors all coalescing at once. Bear in mind, even a woman who has regularly predictable cycles, can veer off chart by a couple of days, every now and then (for numerous reasons)…and that is to be considered normal.

EXAMPLE:

Sarah’s period starts on January 1^st, 2012 and ends on January 6. If her cycles follow a “regular, textbook pattern”, her next period should promptly begin on January 29, 2012. Sarah has a 28 day cycle...(Good for her!)

If a person is trying to conceive (or is conversely, trying to prevent conception), she would have her greatest luck in the middle of her cycle, the time of the month where Ovulation is most likely to occur. Most textbooks refer to the targeted day 14  (middle of the 28 day journey).  Referencing Sarah once more, she would most likely conceive if she were to time intercourse on or around January 14, midway through her cycle.  She would be encouraged to make room for lovemaking 2-3 days prior to the 14^th  as well as a day (or two) after to be sure.  If all goes well, days 10-14 of her cycle (which for purposes of this example...just so happen to be January 10 through 14) are the days on which Sarah would most likely conceive. (If Sarah is---per se--- shooting for accelerated summa cum laude graduation and must at all costs skip pregnancy....she will decide to avoid unprotected intercourse on these days---smart as she is though, perhaps all month to be sure).

 But Sarah has a 28 day cycle….each month, every month, without fail.

What if this scenario isn’t exactly yours---and you, like Sarah would like to conceive? What should you do?

(1)  Jot down Aunt Flo’s visits; start to end, for at least 3 months.

·       With a pattern defined, you will be able to outline the average length of your cycle, which will allow you to identify your mid-cycle fertile period. (For some, your cycle can be as short as 24 days or as long as 35 or more. As long as your cycle has a marked pattern (occurring within a day or two of the set number) this is generally normal. Bear in mind that this number will vary, based on the average length of your particular period. If your numbers lack a pattern (i.e. 28 one month, 35 the next, 22 another, and 41 another)…the irregularities will complicate your plans and may indicate hormonal imbalances.  Heading to your doctor at this point would be best…

(2)  Try to maintain optimum health. 

·       Take your vitamins, eat well and exercise to maintain a healthy weight. Being too overweight or too underweight will complicate matters for many women. Maintaining optimum health will ensure that your cycles do not vary too wildly with interferences like illness and stress. Other factors like hormonal imbalances, medication, certain herbal supplements, smoking, drinking and even air travel may affect your cycle as well, and should be accounted for.)

(3)  Plan Lovemaking Accordingly.

·       Although it may get regimented, plan for your mid-cycle lovemaking (outside of your normal romps) and do NOT miss the days.  You are most likely to conceive 2 days prior to ovulation and the day of---given the fact that you are able to identify whether or not you have ovulated at all.  Got a 30 day cycle? Half of that is 15. Focus on days 12 through 15…and throw in day 16 just for fun! Hey….you never know! It’s a simple bit of math here…but before long you will have the hang of it too.

(4)  Try to stay CALM.

·       Most couples will try for 6 months to a year before success can be had. For some it is much shorter (I hear Sarah is knocked up---already---like yesterday!) and for others it may take longer. As a general rule, a couple with the female under age 35 who has unprotected sex will most likely be pregnant in under a year. If you are over 35 and trying for over 6 months without success, the textbooks recommend you head to your nearest fertility doc. But as for me….? Well, I know that life loves curveballs so I probably wouldn’t worry just yet. (Then again...I am not yet in that court.)

 There are many resources out there to help you track your cycle and get to the goal of conception (or prevention) even faster! Set your android phones to work for you, and download one of the many cycle tracking APPs.  Or use an online tool like the ones listed below. Aunt Flo need not be such a mystery anymore…and really, for most, it is at this point in their lives that they realize they really would love to get to know her more…afterall.

Try my favorites! Both websites are free and very informative too!

www.femilia.com

www.attainfertilityplanner.com

**THANKS FOR READING!**

__________________________

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The Year of The Dragon: 2012

Hmm…now where is that NASA worthy telescope when a girl needs one?

For surely, there is a comet hurtling towards earth right at this very second!

Last time I checked, Bruce Willis was busy with a new girl, Arnold Schwarzenegger (thank you Google, for aiding this catastrophic spell check disaster) may or may not be rekindling his love with his wife and well, hmm…who else saves the world again?

Hmmph…they are ALL busy, thank you very much!

As we all know by now…It’s the year the world should end* (*according to many sources, including but not limited to “They”---you know when “ they say so, we should listen to “them”), and apocalyptic stuff should happen, starting with the great obsession that plagues most people at midnight on December 31^st. ( I mean, when else do otherwise normally well adjusted individuals wonder about orchestrated lip locking and guzzling alcoholic---or at least “sparkling”--- beverages at the chime of midnight?)

 Many are fostering newly nibbled nails and wracking their brains, trying desperately to latch on to the best version of the most attainable New Year’s Resolution, and others yet (i.e.: me!) are still wondering just how we will ring in the New Year!

 To cap off the rampant neuroses, I haven’t checked the networks yet, nor TV Guide, but I am fully expecting the End of The World movie blockbusters to be playing in loop right now! (Hmm…does anyone actually view TV Guide network anymore? If you are, thumbs up for that! I admittedly don’t even know what channel that is on anymore).

But here we are again, hours away from a promising New Year.

The world is ripe with possibilities! And once again, we are ready to seize the day!
Now I have found that if we hold true to our convictions, the idea of “I Can,” will definitely last throughout the year and beyond.
I have also found that claiming and clinging to a higher power, is quite possibly THE greatest propellant of willpower, and folks? I intend to do just that!

 In the Chinese Zodiac, 2012 is the year of the Dragon, a symbol of success and happiness! It’s a great year to be born**!  

A great year to make and fulfill plans! So go ahead, start your new business! Plan that world trip! Hit SEND on that email to that guy that you know you really, really like! (But make sure he is single first…)
Do what is right for you!
Extract that toxic person from your life…right now!
Go ahead, get married! It’s going to be a bright and bounteous year!

Why?

Because I said so. And you should say it with me!

Because we live what we preach. We become our thoughts, and our thoughts become us.
Quite frankly, I see no reason why we can’t all have our 180 degree Success Stories, this very year ahead.  (God’s willing.)
Be sure to sing them out loud once you’ve achieved that goal.  Testify and shout the glory!

*************************************************************************************

Thanks for Reading!

* According to many sources, including but not limited to “They”---you know when “they” say so, we should listen to “them”, (rolls eyes)

**Some of you may not realize this yet, but if you are indeed shooting for a bundle of joy in 2012, you haven’t got much time! Seriously! You’ve got 3 months, tops…March is your cut off. No pressure or anything. But I have been eavesdropping (well actually…I have been listening intently to my friends as they speak…but eavesdropping sounds sooo much more dramatic and well, 2012 is going to be big, and in the spirit of excess…I shall practice a bit of hyperbole). So for those of you that want to invite the stork into your households…or for those that are definitely planning to wait, and wait some more, I think I should write a special note for this very set of folks…more on that…later.**

Showing The Love For: TLC's "Virgin Diaries" and "Geek Love".

Enter : the first of my (totally biased and purely-as-observed )TV Show Review: It's another opinion...and you know, everyone's got one....

So there are tumbleweeds practically blasting through Fall TV programming right now. The re-runs of the re-ran shows are choking the airwaves, becoming powerful enough to confuse my DVR (which recorded a re-run despite being programmed not to! **gasp! **). But amidst the hush and lassitude...there is.....tatadadaaaa! TLC to the rescue!

Home to such heartwarming perennial favorites like: A Baby Story, Bringing Home Baby, and evenCake Boss, TLC seems to have suffered a wildly fascinating bout of N.M.C: "Network Midlife Crisis"!

While I know I am not the only one who may have noticed the ear piercing screech of the left field gear shift, I also know I am not the only one who may have needed a hand to hold after watching the first offering's of the Network's two latest gems, "The Virgin Diaries and, Sunday’s (December 18) debut of: "Geek Love".

 The Virgin Diaries:

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/virgin-diaries-virgin-diaries-sneak-peek.html

I know, I know.....everyone thinks that the people featured on this show are like, totally mal-adjusted social reject outcasts who really should seek therapy instead of reality TV show notoriety and fame (which I am quite certain they haven't quite achieved...yet....really!).

But honestly?

I thought it (the concept of the show, AND the cast themselves) were rather....refreshing!

I mean, if I truly need to hit the re-set button in my mind, I am more than glad to pick up a book and read (do that a lot really!), but this Docu-drama was a wonderful change of pace from the "norm". After my uncomfortable squirming (um...they were rather odd people, sorry: see "The Kiss", after the couple weds, "their first kiss EVER, as a couple and clearly, ever...I mean, like, ever. Never on their hands...never with a friend....never with a toy...never with a boy...man, obviously never... but I digress) I was left with a feel-good buzz!

I was happy for them! Seriously!

Not really a spoiler here, as the debut show has already aired, but much of the cast remains virgins... (And duly so!), and the newly married couple....well? They...."did the deed!"

It was a TLC Special, but the network is presently holding castings, and despite a probable shortage of age 18+, virginal candidates who may be willing to go on TV and publicly document their sojourn's beyond their "maidenhead voyages", I do foresee a growing interest in TLC's newest way of celebrating: "firsts".

 Geek Love:

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/geek-love-get-some-geek-love.html

It’s like every Jeni's Ice cream flavor.

Like...beer perhaps.

Like frog legs, fried frog legs.

Or for those of you that haven't, it’s possibly akin to driving in Europe (or everywhere else in the world for that matter), in a European model car.

You sort of have to just do it once, try it to decide whether or not you LIKE it! And then, you may find you do so love love love it....and you may feel weird if you don't. Or not....

It’s just like that! Exactly like that! Watching this show, that is!

This has got to be the quirkiest (read: weirder than your weirdest high school friend if you weren't actually super weird yourself, sorta weird), most perplexing (read: how? did? these? people? GET? this way?) grouping of characters....ever.

The TLC Premiere of Geek Love focused on a set of young people who are self-proclaimed (and....by MOST other standards) "nerds", and their valiant pursuit of happiness in the dating world, through a speed dating event, offered at New York's, Comic Con.

It’s all a matter of perception here, and I am not yet sure if this one will be a ratings winner with TLC viewers, (but who am I...really?)

But seriously? If they are fickle, easily entertained, Cheerers-on of general humanity as I am? Well....there may be an audience just yet!

**Disclaimer: I have personally NEVER been to a Comic Con event, anywhere, and thus my written opinion may most likely be due to my un-travelled ignorance, as Comic-Con may very well be Mecca for numerous individuals who aren't actually nerds at all. And personally, the word nerd is in no way shape or form, derogatory in MY mind, as intelligent individuals, eccentric individuals, odd-balls and the like, are all simply----people.

PS: TV's lead actor from "Chuck", Zachary Levi was prominently AT Comic-Con, and I do so luuuuuurve him (sorry loving, beautiful husband of mine, but really...I do!)**

Mmmmm...all that being said, I guess I will waive my nerd flag high, and wait with baited breath for the new season of MY guilty pleasure programs like, ABC's" The Bachelor", MTV's: "Teen Wolf" and ....ok, who am I kidding? The list is long, and the DVR, will be busy!

************************************************************************

Thanks For Reading!

Making Room: Re-Writing the Concept of "Us".

So there it was the mountain of "Stuff".
His and mine, just staring at the both of us.
Coupled with the sea of brown boxes, the black garbage bags full of my belongings, made tiny self assured mountains in the living room.


Neither of us could see much of the floor, and at this point, we were oh so blinded by the work ahead of us, organizing it all. It wasn't sudden, but like two feral cats in a prime alley corner, we took our stances. Hands akimbo. My husband defending his space, and I, scratching away at the boundaries to define my own.

Cohabitating.

It’s something many of us learn to do rather early on in our lives. Perhaps having had to share a space with a sibling. Grappling away at a bunk bed or pulling ranks for the better level on a trundle. Better yet, there's the collegiate experience, normally devoid of sibling rivalry yet no less competitively annoying, at the best of times. And in my instance, it was the freshly melded newlywed den.

Cue: The Dream...

Like a flash, every fuzzy, rose tinted movie, and fairy tale story line comes crashing in!

The glossy red and gold Christmas spread we'd share.

The glitzy gloss of a New Year's Eve spent together kissing with the pop and boom of the firework blasts and the bubbly chuckles of all the friends we'd invited over!

Dinner on the table! Every day! At 6 pm...Glade candles glowing over the shiny basted bird! Yup...every dinner is prettier and prettier than the last and best Thanksgiving affair!

I'm even wearing an apron in my fantasy! An apron!

And my husband's face is glowing each day as he bursts through the front door with a, "Honey, I'm Home!" on his lips...and we'd tumble to the floor together, in bliss...and er hem, **cough** you know what...

But it’s so funny how reality can be sooo much sweeter than our corny old saccharin dreams, and the things I have come to love and learn about "Us", are what we all come to realize sooner or later on our journeys through life long partnerships.

It is new still, and I am pretty sure that getting to know another person takes a lifetime, and thus, will always be a new and exhilarating experience, once we commit to doing so.

And we MUST commit to doing so: daily.

Every day we make the choice to say Yes to our partners.

To put another's feelings first when we can.

And when we can't, you say? We push through it, and we hope that we have chosen a partner that understands Grace.

We will be called upon to exercise Grace throughout our lives!

First, as we discover our own strengths and weaknesses. And incrementally, when we must toss a bit to our friends and family! Then when we mesh our lives to a partner. Then when we extend the love that God has blessed us with, to our children. And the web goes on and on...

So forgive yourselves when the rice gets burned (am not saying mine ever does! **wink**). He probably won't have noticed it much anyway, (and the term "smoked" does come in rather handy for such culinary snafus! Be prepared to handle more than your fair share of laughs and joy, because boy do they come! Reach out your thankful heart to God in gratitude and let Him know how happy you are for all you have been given. And if you are ever sad? Reach out to the Lord as well, since what do you know? Jesus wept (KJV John 11:35)...right?

And trust me guys, she DOES come around...you know she does!

Remind yourself daily, of exactly why you chose her! Why you love him! Rejoice in the things you have yet to learn about each other, the things you have come to learn and probably wish you never even knew!

I am embracing it all!

The millions (35 really) of times I have been asked: How IS married life? (Great!)
The thousands (20 or so) of times we've been asked " When are you gonna
have kids? (Soon enough!)

The times when you are asked: So when's baby #2, or baby #3 or baby #4?

Private School or Chartered?

Meat or Vegan...

Spanking or Time outs...

Suburbs or City...

And the list goes on...

We were made for this! Give yourselves a little slack...loosen the reigns and gird your loins all at the same time...

ABOUT ME

I lay there beneath the stars, back against the warmth of the concrete paved driveway, feet bare and propped up on the white-washed metal gate surrounding my yard, as we had them in Jamaica. With my head cradled in my clasped hands, I recall looking up at the stars, and you know how it is when you stare long enough into a star-crowded night sky? I started “seeing things”.

Believing it to be a tiny comet, I made a wish as one of the shiny twinkly dots caught my eye. I whispered into the sultry Caribbean night air, asking for a sibling, a brother. And then I recall this even more vividly: I wanted to go to “Foreign” (that’s what we called the United States of America). And though I was a smart child, wise beyond my years even, I still looked up; fancifully imagining that foreign was up--- “up there” somewhere (against all I’d learned in school about the round earth and the debunked myths of the fated flat edge that it most certainly didn’t have, off which we’d all plummet …leaping off Aristotle’s back maybe.)

As I lay there, every fanciful dream I’d ever had came rushing in, swirling through my mind, making me smile. Because I believed back then, that perhaps one day I would indeed become a doctor, an Obstetric Gynecologist to be precise. But this would happen sometime after I’d seen the world. And published my novel, and designed all the most fabulous fashions that there ever were! And because true focus had never been my strong point, I recall some random wish about llamas. Must’ve been reading some book in first form English then, with llamas amidst the chapters, but most likely yet another musing from an only child…drowning in ennui as I was.

Fast forward to 2011: I am 30 years old, married---for the second time, grateful,  that I have found the right man for me. And all around me, life is happening FAST. Speeding by it seems! I have four grey hairs.  Every so often I find myself wondering just what I shall DO with the massive 401k funds that I shall have in 2046 (a dreamer still I am). And now? Teenagers seem misguided to me…most of them anyway. And unreasonably, I still have acne.

Though the pervasive rot of divorce abounds, everyone is tying the knot! Those who aren’t, are blissfully planning their “Big Day”. And others yet, are shunning the bonds of matrimony as if it were the Black Plague reborn. Many of my friends have children now! And against all odds, I still have one special friend that is still a virgin. I have a renewed interest in riding my bicycle, but plan to learn to drive properly---soon! (Bike rides through the snow will get old real soon) I never had a MySpace page. And though I did get a brother, he came AFTER my parents divorced. So I’ve never really learned to share my space with another.

I never did drugs or alcohol. To the horror of most, I have never even owned a Blackberry. 

I went on to draw many, many sketches of many fabulous gowns, and I scattered the drawings within the pages of my many journals---they no longer call out to me, as they are vampires and shun the light of day, as they should. By God’s grace, the novel WILL happen though, I really hope so…

As for my career in Obstetrics? Well, that never took off. It never truly even got legs! But I have found that there is a special place inside each person, where dreams live on, waiting to take flight. And so, I read a lot. And I know a little more than most about a few things…Pregnancy fascinates me still! But so does politics, and fashion---and cooking and even reality TV. And one day I will be a mommy…but for now, here in my corner….I will share what I do know, and learn from those that know more than I do…And hope you all take my candor with a large(ish) teaspoon of salt. Welcome to my space…

An "Opened" Book

We are but specs on this vast planet.
We are a network of cells, existing until we no longer exist.
At our incepetion, we survive and thrive through interdependence, drawing others in to the coveted real estate within our minds, our bodies even! Then the webs we form are beautiful...

In the rush and bustle of daily life,  smooshed between the noiseless moments, we realize...or at least I have realized, that at the best of times, we are all of us, just Ordinary People...(Cue: that Legend song)
And somewhere in between, the luckiest of us find love.
Love, in her many forms. That schizophrenic,  cross dressing shape shifter of an emotion...that same love that we all embrace.

Before time on earth began, one, religiously oriented, may wonder whether or not a true "blank canvas" has ever been in existence. It is that time...long long ago I am sure that the essence of me, of you...of everyone that ever was and will be was created.

I am a piece of my mother, and a portion of my father. I am what I have chosen to be, and I bear the imprint of my time on mother earth, proudly.
My skin can still tell you that this woman wears the warm sunkissed balm of her Jamaican island home, best. And my heart can tell you that, depsite  every steel cold hurdle that I have ever faced here, in this mercurial land, the United States of America is still the best place on earth for dreamers, like myself.
Now, for those that groom their wings each day for flight, prepared to soar or fight what drifting gales they find? Ain't no better place than the lofty perch one can attain here, where the broad stripes and bright stars sing 300 million different tunes and counting...for each and every soul.

And at day's end...there is just a little bit more to me than there was yesterday, with a little bit more of me left elsewhere with someone else.
Thats how it should be, really...as we welcome the world in, one person at a time.
And I am left thinking....who else can I impact today?