BABY STEPS: Your "To-Do" List Before Conception

Understanding the basics of your cycle is one of the most helpful things you can do if you have made the decision to conceive a child. However, there are several more steps that you can take to ensure that the journey to motherhood isn’t such a long one, and is in fact as healthy and enjoyable as can be!

 Let’s start by addressing your cycle once more!

So you’ve jotted down every visit from Aunt Flo for 3 months or more, and are fully aware of her patterns as well as the expected date of ovulation. We can now proceed to conceiving immediately! **Cheers roar!....followed by scratch on record player.....**

Thing is, catching that egg can be somewhat of a challenge…as the body beautiful, isn’t exactly the most predictable thing on planet earth. A woman’s egg has got its vim and vigor for 24 to 48 hours by most medical calculations. And while timing that baby-dance accordingly (see Point #3 in “Inviting the Stork…”) is the best way to go, you never know when your pattern may take a slight shift. Add these tips to your To-Do list, and your very own cuddly cherubic baby should be here much sooner!

·       Have sex every other day during your fertile period (here, a less-is-more approach may help!).  This is a much debated practice, but logic---and medicine---says this will allow your partner’s trusty Sperm soldiers to be at peak (in both quantity and quality). Encourage your partner to save all his soldiers for love-time with you….and only this time. Think about it! If he keeps deploying and deploying and deploying his soldiers…pretty soon the front line will get all tired out, and the scrawny reserves will be all that’s  left…and Lord only knows what will happen if a draft  from the dregs is needed!  Slim pickings from the scrawny dudes way at the back…who shouldn’t ever be called for duty…ever. (I digress…)

·       Learn to recognize WHEN you are ovulating.  Ladies, you know the deal on this one...but in effort to remain professional, I shall say: As reported by most women, you will begin to feel noticeably more amorous a few days prior to ovulation.  Some women even feel a slight twinge on the side of the pelvis where the corresponding ovary released an egg! It’s never really a guessing game at this point what you and your partner need to do…

(1)  Take heed of your body’s other signals such as increased mucus production below---in particular, a change in your normal secretions from watery or lotion-like to the much famed “egg white cervical mucus”.  (It really will look egg whitish, stretchy….) It is this particular change in consistency that actually facilitates conception as the environment within the vagina will become more hospitable to sperm for these few days.

***If this step doesn’t happen quite this way in your body, invest in an over the counter sperm-friendly lubricant, like *PreSeed.  At this point in your fertility journey, the trusted favorites have harmful ingredients that are lethal to sperm and will hinder your efforts at conception. ***

The herbal supplement, *Evening Primrose Oil is also indicated as having properties that improve the quality and quantity of fertile cervical mucus during ovulation.

(2)  If you like, the purchase of an over the counter *ovulation predictor kit would help even more. I suggest this step to those that have not found success by tracking their cycles alone. Even women who menstruate regularly may have slight variances in their actual ovulation date.  I discourage the use of this tool IF it happens to increase your anxiety about the entire process at all though.

(3)  If you have a relatively short cycle all together (read: 23-24 days) perhaps it would be good to invest in an herbal supplement that may help lengthen your cycle---the luteal phase of your cycle to be exact----, like a natural *Progesterone cream which supplies 450mg of USP progesterone per ounce.  The use of chasteberry supplements or tea (that offers 200-400mg a day) has also been purported to support a longer luteal phase to allow for implantation to occur.  Red Raspberry leaf (tea or supplement form) has also shown similar effects.

•   Start Taking that Prenatal Now. 

ü  It is recommended that women start ingesting 400mcg to 800mcg of Folic Acid up to 2 years before conception. Check to be sure, but it is found in most multi's for women. This vitamin will help protect baby from birth defects and it works when taken before and during pregnancy! Some have boasted that this supplement enhances the chances for conceiving twins as well...but hey, um...whatever floats their boat!

ü  If you can both handle this one (I find the pills are generally large), a good fish oil supplement will benefit both you and your partner during your journey to conception.

ü  Continue taking your multivitamins if you prefer. Discuss any changes in your diet and daily vitamin/supplement regime as these may interfere with existing prescription medications, or pre-existing health conditions.

•  Watch your weight….sort of.

Sometimes it may simply be the matter of adding or losing 5 pounds. Do note: now is not the time to start a crash diet to lose tons of weight. But taking healthy steps towards reaching and maintaining a healthy weight (read: an optimal *BMI of 20-25%) is crucial to conception. I failed to point this out in Inviting the Stork but...

Recent studies have revealed certain natural supplements that may help lower overall body fat in combination with healthier lifestyles and exercise. If this is your intent (and if this is a necessary precursor to conception for you) try looking out for:

ü  Safflower Oil supplements

ü  Calcium Pyruvate (1000mg)

ü  Chitosan

ü  Linoleic Acid Supplements (6 grams)

ü  Try Sunflower seeds! (3 tsps. of sunflower seeds per day was studied, and doctors indicated loss of visceral body fat---the tummy kind---in all cases studied.*)

Do note that the presence of a monthly period does not always indicate functional ovulation.  Some choose to track ovulation through use of a basal body thermometer and actual online charts…but I will not expound upon this method here as this idea tends to stress ME out, just typing it!  If a year or more has passed during your journey to conception ---without success, please consort with a physician for more thorough steps towards achieving your goals.

I must conclude this nugget of information by saying: this is somewhat therapeutic for me, as I too am nearing that stage of contemplation, edging forth into decision really, regarding babies! I am nervously excited about the entire ordeal (more nervous than excited on some days), and though I feel armed with a decent amount of information, nothing, absolutely nothing will beat going through the real thing for the first time…and even after that, as some of you can attest to.  I trust that there will be comfort in the knowledge that others provide, and shared bliss in knowing all those books were super-right, and in some instances, so off base! And finally, the calming support from friends and relatives will be more than welcomed…it will be celebrated, and I am really looking forward to that. I know this was a lot of info to take in. Leave questions or comments and I will gladly try to help out! And as usual...

Resources/ References/Tools:

-Ovulation Calculator:

http://www.webmd.com/baby/healthtool-ovulation-calculator

-PreSeed Lubricant: http://www.preseed.com/   or

http://www.amazon.com/Pre~Seed-PSMUK-Pre-Seed-Personal-Lubricant/dp/B004382GWK

(It is also available at CVS, Walgreens and some Target Stores.)

-Progesterone Cream: http://www.emerita.com/ or www.amazon.com

-Online Discount Vitamin Resource:  www.vitacost.com (my favorite!)

-Free BMI Calculator: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bmi-calculator/NU00597

-The Belly Fat Reduction Supplements (as featured on Dr. Oz):

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/belly-fat-blasting-supplements

**Disclaimer: NO disrespect to those in the army. Front Line, Reserves and all. You are ALL our heroes! **

 ***THANKS FOR READING***!

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INVITING THE STORK...OR NOT.

Whether you have decided that 2012 is the year you would like to conceive that beautiful bundle of joy (kudos to you!), or perhaps you have definitely decided that you absolutely must step up the birth control and carve out 4 more years of post-graduate achievements (kudos to you!), one thing is for sure: Becoming familiar with your true, and natural monthly cycle can be a great boon to you for this year…and beyond!

 While being my (sometimes) overly open self, I was frequently surprised to discover how far reaching the text book lore of the 28 Day Menstrual Cycle has become. I would go as far as saying that quite a few of my friends are still rather mystified about their monthly visitors, as they glance at the calendars each month, rather nonplussed by the dates, hardly able to recall the last time Aunt Flo rode in on her brick red broom.

See…I am calling it textbook “lore” for a reason. It (the 28 day cycle) can be, for many women…a bit of a nebulous fairytale, never having happened in their life! Greater still, are the group that aren’t even sure how long their cycles really are, and many even wonder if they are “normal”.

It’s not such a bad thing, not really…as your normal, is not necessarily that of the “majority”.

 Keeping the idea of YOUR “normalcy” in mind, how long should your cycle really be?

 See, the best guideline, as outlined and observed by most medical publications---and rightly so, is 28 days. (READ: With a month or two, already on a chart---or accurately in your mind, and counting from the first day of your last period, to the day before your NEXT expected period, is generally on average 28 days.)

A menstrual cycle that is on average, 28 days, allows for optimum hormonal ebbs and flows. The cycle is predictable, and effective luteal phases (the period of time that spans from the day after a woman ovulates through the start of the next menses----usually 14 days), are best observed, thus facilitating conception. That being said, conception itself is dependent upon many others factors all coalescing at once. Bear in mind, even a woman who has regularly predictable cycles, can veer off chart by a couple of days, every now and then (for numerous reasons)…and that is to be considered normal.

EXAMPLE:

Sarah’s period starts on January 1^st, 2012 and ends on January 6. If her cycles follow a “regular, textbook pattern”, her next period should promptly begin on January 29, 2012. Sarah has a 28 day cycle...(Good for her!)

If a person is trying to conceive (or is conversely, trying to prevent conception), she would have her greatest luck in the middle of her cycle, the time of the month where Ovulation is most likely to occur. Most textbooks refer to the targeted day 14  (middle of the 28 day journey).  Referencing Sarah once more, she would most likely conceive if she were to time intercourse on or around January 14, midway through her cycle.  She would be encouraged to make room for lovemaking 2-3 days prior to the 14^th  as well as a day (or two) after to be sure.  If all goes well, days 10-14 of her cycle (which for purposes of this example...just so happen to be January 10 through 14) are the days on which Sarah would most likely conceive. (If Sarah is---per se--- shooting for accelerated summa cum laude graduation and must at all costs skip pregnancy....she will decide to avoid unprotected intercourse on these days---smart as she is though, perhaps all month to be sure).

 But Sarah has a 28 day cycle….each month, every month, without fail.

What if this scenario isn’t exactly yours---and you, like Sarah would like to conceive? What should you do?

(1)  Jot down Aunt Flo’s visits; start to end, for at least 3 months.

·       With a pattern defined, you will be able to outline the average length of your cycle, which will allow you to identify your mid-cycle fertile period. (For some, your cycle can be as short as 24 days or as long as 35 or more. As long as your cycle has a marked pattern (occurring within a day or two of the set number) this is generally normal. Bear in mind that this number will vary, based on the average length of your particular period. If your numbers lack a pattern (i.e. 28 one month, 35 the next, 22 another, and 41 another)…the irregularities will complicate your plans and may indicate hormonal imbalances.  Heading to your doctor at this point would be best…

(2)  Try to maintain optimum health. 

·       Take your vitamins, eat well and exercise to maintain a healthy weight. Being too overweight or too underweight will complicate matters for many women. Maintaining optimum health will ensure that your cycles do not vary too wildly with interferences like illness and stress. Other factors like hormonal imbalances, medication, certain herbal supplements, smoking, drinking and even air travel may affect your cycle as well, and should be accounted for.)

(3)  Plan Lovemaking Accordingly.

·       Although it may get regimented, plan for your mid-cycle lovemaking (outside of your normal romps) and do NOT miss the days.  You are most likely to conceive 2 days prior to ovulation and the day of---given the fact that you are able to identify whether or not you have ovulated at all.  Got a 30 day cycle? Half of that is 15. Focus on days 12 through 15…and throw in day 16 just for fun! Hey….you never know! It’s a simple bit of math here…but before long you will have the hang of it too.

(4)  Try to stay CALM.

·       Most couples will try for 6 months to a year before success can be had. For some it is much shorter (I hear Sarah is knocked up---already---like yesterday!) and for others it may take longer. As a general rule, a couple with the female under age 35 who has unprotected sex will most likely be pregnant in under a year. If you are over 35 and trying for over 6 months without success, the textbooks recommend you head to your nearest fertility doc. But as for me….? Well, I know that life loves curveballs so I probably wouldn’t worry just yet. (Then again...I am not yet in that court.)

 There are many resources out there to help you track your cycle and get to the goal of conception (or prevention) even faster! Set your android phones to work for you, and download one of the many cycle tracking APPs.  Or use an online tool like the ones listed below. Aunt Flo need not be such a mystery anymore…and really, for most, it is at this point in their lives that they realize they really would love to get to know her more…afterall.

Try my favorites! Both websites are free and very informative too!

www.femilia.com

www.attainfertilityplanner.com

**THANKS FOR READING!**

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